maybe it's just christmas this year...

I have a feeling this might be a long post (just sayin').

Maybe it's christmas and the world didn't end.

So I guess I made a decision that will change the course of my near future life this year in October. I decided to leave the city that I've grown to love in the 6 over years that I've been there to go back home and have a completely different life.

Before I left, I tried picturing myself in all different situations that I would be in if I were to go ahead with this big move. I could totally picture myself being basked in all the good stuff bout it but no matter how much I fantasize bout the good stuff, I know that there'll be some down times I have to pay for. True enough, I have already experienced those days when I'm hating myself, everyone and everything else around me. Those days where I feel I'm not good enough and I might not get to wherever I wanna be with my life. Such depressing thoughts, I know. But oh well, one's gotta deal with consequences after taking the first actions.

I guess I just had a sudden pang of realization that I'm having a different christmas this year. Although, I haven't enjoyed a fixed christmas traditions in a long time. But the christmas that I always have in mind is going to church with my aunt's family and going somewhere nice for dinner. Yea, christmas is not as huge as chinese new year in my family. We enjoy it mostly because we get the holidays to spend with the rest of the family and to be reunited with the extended family as two of my aunts have birthdays close to christmas and new year's. The family reunion is what I look forward to the most at this time of the year. And this year I'm glad I'm not missing any of that. I get to see everyone now that I'm back home.

However, earlier this year, I pictured a different christmas. Things have changed so much that I couldn't even bring myself to remember what I wanted to happen this christmas. Somewhen in June, July or August this year, I started picturing a different christmas from what I imagined at the beginning of the year. But I guess in reality, I'm having a totally different christmas. One that I always think about every christmas. It's like part of my christmas wish coming true. This year I get the christmas with my aunt's family and we're going to church together and having a nice dinner as well. I'm just bummed that my sister can't be a part of this.

If you ask me four months ago if I could imagine my life like how it is now, I'd say a big fat "NO!" in your face. But my oh my, how things have changed. I'm actually ok with how things are right now. Of course there's always something that I wanna change but for now, I happily accept it. I think I've come a long way since four months ago and I'm taking that as an accomplishment. Of course, I have a lot of people to thank for helping me get here and I greatly appreciate every little and big gestures that each and everyone have contributed.

Pretty much, I just wanted to give thanks and spread love and appreciation through this post. And since the world decided not to end on 21 December, we might as well have an even bigger celebration as we have many more days to party. This also means we have more days to tell and show the people that have helped us along the way the "thanks" that they deserve. So use this extra time well. For all you know, God might just decide to end everything tomorrow.

With this, I leave you with the well wishes of a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. Also, Happy Holidays. May you feel loved, appreciated and blessed in one way or another.

xoxo

words can't describe how much it still hurts.

wow! long time no post. I've missed you.

here's a song that's stuck in my head...
"I am invincible, oh... as long as I'm in love with you..."
"I am invincible, oh... there is nothing we cannot do..."
...

Invincible by Tonight Alive.
It's catchy.

endlessly - the cab

... I'm not perfect but I swear I'm perfect for you...

There's no guarantee that this will be easy
It's not a miracle you need, believe me
I'm no angel, I'm just me
But I will love you endlessly
Wings aren't what you need, you need me

I know you need me...

#counterRev

oh my, long time no blog...
this blog is especially dedicated to the epic time, which is Counter Revolution I attended on Friday 30th September.
Some bands were electricfying! like awesomely good, if there's such a way to describe it.

Panic! at the Disco were fitting as the headline act. I was a lil doubtful at first to be honest coz I must've forgotten how good they were when I saw them in 2006. and also maybe I was swayed coz Pretty.Odd wasn't that mind-blowing of an album. I have definitely restored my faith in them now.

All Time Low, need I really say more?! I had a FUNtastic time dancing and listening to them dirty talk on stage. Oh, Alex and Jack... typical. oh did I mention, bras... bras being thrown on stage. normal for every show.

Yellowcard - first time seeing them. damn, they're good! defz seeing them again.

Funeral for a Friend was a little disappointing but I still like their songs lots. not to mention, those arms on the guitarist and bassist. wow! defz redeemed.

these... just to name a few bands... but seriously, I had like a whole day of fun!
quite filled up with pop punk goodness.

no photos here tho. if you wanna check more stuff out, google it!
also... www.soundwaverevolution.com

"slow down, take a deep breath, we can't give up tonight..."

is it right, to sit and watch this die?
we're slowly letting go,
like it's better left alone.
so erase the damages we've made,
the stories left untold,
is better than you know.

The Story Left Untold - Every Avenue

I'm scared and I don't know how... don't know how to just leave the love behind.
I think it'll always be there and I just have to somehow get use to it.

life's hills and valleys, I just hope you'll hold on with me.
I need to get through it, no matter how long it takes.

worries

I think the issue with us (as in my friends and I) these days is the fact that we're feeling the worry of mid-life crisis when we're not even a quarter of a century old!
yes, that's right, we're not even 25! in fact, we're a few years away from being 25!
why are feeling the stress of it all now?!
I hate the pressure that it poses on us, weighing on our shoulders and being at the back of our heads all the frickin' time! it stays in the subconcious and then once in a while, more often than we think actually, it'll come back into our consious thoughts to haunt us.
oh... sheesh!

graduation.

hello, it's been a while.
and I've been a bum.
the family was in town for my graduation.
and that's me.
the next accomplishment of my life.
I feel good wearing that trencher.

relaxing in perth and the weather is beautiful.
if only I had that one person to share it with...

what becomes of the broken-hearted?

vacation... then back to reality.
it sucks.

rollin' with celebs, well... just one in this case, A GOOD ONE!

playes craps at crown casino with Ashton Kutcher tonight.
yep, u read right, ASHTON KUTCHER!
YEAHHHH! money money money! :)

I haven't updated in ages.
been bored and too busy to update. but I'm still alive and well.
actually, hanging. but yeah. still here.

I'm in Jakarta at the moment, but I wish I was still in Singapore.
if it weren't for my moms and pops, I don't think I'd be back for so long.
but I also have documentations and such to settle. blehhh...
but I know everything will be ok (and I mean not just with the things I mentioned above).

le sighs.

jetplane.

how's everyone doing?
it's been a while.

I'm going back home! YAY!
I arrive in Singapore on 4th June (remember the date!).
going back to Jakarta on 21st June, returning to Singapore again on 2nd July.
write my name down in your daily planner already!
let's meet up. :)

now, to get the assignments out of the way first.
after that, goodbye uni life!
I'm graduating, hopefully! haha.
see you in Singapore and Jakarta.

to mommy dearest.

Happy Mother's Day!
I love you, Mom.
<3

hello, I've been busy.
pretty sure I'm not neglecting you.

trying to decide too many things with very limited choices.
and not to mention, little money.
*sighs*
flights, duration of stay, money, cost, surgery, etc, etc, etc.

hello, long time no post.
there hasn't been much update from the last really.
for now I'll be boring.
hopefully it'll get more interesting soon. in a good way of course.
let's hope.

one long month? or one short month?

heartbreak-ville

another week go by...
I want things to get easier.
it is still hard on me. just trying my best to get by and come to terms with what I'm supposed to.
being happy is the best value you can get in life.
I think that's what we should all aim for.

I'm too scared to lose you for good.
I want to keep you in my life, even as a friend. if that's what it takes.
I love you.
I know, I always have, always will.