lost friendship.

it seems that i'm trying to salvage a friendship that i've already lost.
i don't know why i'm still trying.
maybe because i think there's always hope that we'll be OK once again.
just like old days.
if you know what i mean.

all the fun.
all the times when it seems that you're just a phone call away.
i miss those days.
i miss you.
i wonder if you knew that.
i hope things will be OK once again before i leave.
even if it's the very last minute, i'll be glad to know i still have you there.
that i can rely on the friendship even if i'm miles away.

for now, i'd just like to thank you for all the fun that we had.
i can never get enough of that.
and i hope i can have fun with you whenever i come back from "god-knows-where".
that you'll be there to say hi and goodbye as i come and leave.
i have to say that my days here are numbered now.
the next time i know, i'll only come back here during my school vacation.
or maybe no chance to come back from time to time.
it will all depends on fate.
i guess.

to lost friendships... i'm not ready to say goodbye.

the thought suddenly daunts on me to create this entry which seems really emo-ish.
losing a friend is something i don't like to deal with.
<\3

i cracked my brain for this entry.
i've been thinking wad's interesting lately.
and it occured to me that nth much has been interesting.
well, here are the few things i can think of.

went over to reid's place and reid came over to mine the next day.
basically to chill.

gel, i miss you! haha =)
i know it might sound crazy.
neway, i would love to see ur tattoo.
and also to hang out with u.
the whole me missing u thing sounds kinda weird.
but i really do.
it seems i haven't seen u for ages.

same to reuben and ian.
i miss your nonsense.
LOL.

to my frens whom i went out with last thursday,
let's do it again.
i really can't wait. *excited*

and to the ppl whom i haven't see for like AGES,
let's hang out soon!
coz i might not have much time for that anymore.
BOO! =(
but is the fact.
so i would love to do much much catching up and stuff before i leave.
or...
YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN I'M GONE!
and i'll miss everyone plenty.
fo sho!

braces

my teeth are killing me.
thanx braces. (sacasm.. BLAH!)
"your bottom set of teeth are ok already." said the orthodontist.

wheeee...
i'm gonna have nice teeth.
YAYS!

warren, ppl with braces are RAD!
especially ME!
LOL.

fun-ness

yesterday was great.
12 frens.
hanging out altogether.
movies, dinner, juz hanging out.
is pure fun!

i love my frens. <3
i wish we could do this more often.
becca, lampy, chelle ng, alfred, warren, weishen, jianbin, gonaidi, matthew, charles, tianhee.
let's do this more often.

these are the days that i'll miss when i'm gone.

thanx warren for walking me home.
we were like 2 bored kids.
LOL.
aww... how sweet.
(must be added on according to you)
HAHAHA.

random.

fetish for emo boys.
something for black skirts.
temptation for rad tops.
a thing for band tees.
vice for clothing, magazines and cds.
urge for shopping.
can't live without music.
passion for acting, singing and dancing.
wanting to star-gaze.
sweet tooth for chocolates.
crushing on someone.
attracted to "eye candies"
loves hot boys. <3
hearts all my frens.
yearning for overseas valentine.
longing for freedom.

YOU'RE MORE THAN JUST MY VALENTINE.

work was tiring.
extremely tiring today.
BOO! =(

neway, i caught pink panther on monday.
hilarious.
funny but lame.

do u know that when u type panther on the phone, it actually shows the word "panties".
LOL.
so be sure to type slower.
u don't wanna be asking ppl to go watch "pink panties".
hahaha. =)

From day one I talked about getting out.
But not forgetting about,
How all my worst fears are letting out.
He said why put a new address on the same old lonliness?
When breathing just passes the time,
Until we all just get old and die.
Now talking's just a waste of breath,
And living's just a waste of death.
And why put a new address on the same old lonliness?
And this is you and me and me and you until we've got nothing left.

Blast @ Sentosa.

i had fun on saturday night!
blast at the beach was a blast.
despite the rain that poured earlier in the afternoon.
CLAPS FOR EGAN AND RUSS! =D

as usual, fun people!
i love u guys!
<333

reid, egan, dharma, bryan and kj, eric and lisa, jude and sherie, gaby and mark, and many many more ppl.
the ppl i went to sentosa with.

jess, i <3 u SISTERR!
lizz, dearest. <3
jasmine, slut sister. LOL. <3
natasha, my wonderbrick. <3 no wall without u
pam, cuzzie. <3
wiz, u lame nut. <3

i had fun.
really FUN!

reid, star gazing couldn't be more interesting without you.
u know so much stuff!
haha =)
VENUS and MARS!
LOL.
<33

you're more than just my valentine.

PAUL and JUSTIN!

i'm so glad i have frens who treat me so nicely.
u guys are the ppl who make me wanna go to the states badly.
i wanna see u.

PAUL and JUSTIN!
you hotties.
<3

friends like you guys make me real and alive.
i love you both to bits!
<333

I MEAN IT!

paul can't talk. i'm bummed.
BOO. =(

worked.
came home at 2.
i had fun at work. somehow.

thanx SYAHID for meeting me up first. =)
KAIJIE, u're a good partner. LOL. =)
EDDY, thanx for the rose. =)

my grandma is going back to jakarta.
and she'll only be back in april.
FREEDOM?!!
i hope!
wahahaha.
i can feel it already!

PAUL.

meet PAUL!
he's my overseas valentine too.
he's nice & sweet.
HE'S MY HERO!
he talks to me when he comes home from school.
he wants to come meet me here in singapore.
he wants to go to the beach with me.
and we'll hang out together if he ever comes to singapore.
he wants me to go to ohio so i can hang out with him.
he fits the profile. (you know wad i'm talking about, =D)
he can tolerate my random-ness and still loves me.
right PAUL?!
u are love.
<3

you're so emo, i love you.

local VALENTINE.

a valentine from singapore. LOL.
ALFRED.
hahaha =)
thanx sweetie.

my good food partner, my cam-whore partner.
WHEEEEE...
<3

VALENTINE(S)

overseas valentine.
<3 JUSTIN.
you're far from me.
like all the way in PENNSYLVANIA, USA.
BOO. =(

DANIELLE, i miss u.
and u're my valentine. from MIAMI.
hahaha. <3

JENSEN, i miss you like WHOA!
you're all the way in AUSTRALIA.
=(

but is better than nothing.

my valentine's day is not gonna be so bad after all.
=)

VALENTINE-LESS

17 years without a valentine.
but whatever.
i still like it.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO ALL.
i shall seek comfort in the midst of all the loving couples.
<\3

would you be my valentine?

emo kid on valentine's day.

dragonfly

one more post.
an emo one.

all the sleepless nights thinking of you, are finally over.
i thought i totally got over you.
i haven't.
there's this teeny weeny bit.
but i want you to know i exist.
please...
your friendship and nothing else.
that's all i ask for.
juz friendship.
i hope that's not too much to ask for.
u know how i value friendship.
the friendship between you and i means a lot.
don't ditch me, friend.
please... and thank you.

PAVILLION. PLAYERS & SWINGERS.

drop it like it's hot.

shake your body like a belly dancer.

dressing up.
heels.
great company.
i mean really really great company.
love love love and gazillion more love.
<33333

blisters, heels and fun juz go well together.
i guess.
i got to see who i wanted to see.

EGAN, u're always such a sweetie.
love, <3

DHARMA, BRYAN and GANG, u guys are fun ppl.
really fun ppl.
i can't imagine my night without u guys.
love, <3

this is random, but bryan smells good.
hahahaha =)
is not wad u think it is.
i was dancing beside him.
and a hug before i left. =D
I TOLD U IT WAS RANDOM!

O LEVELS

results wasn't really satisfactory.
i'm disappointed with english grade.
the rest of the subjects were quite an improvement.
so i'm happy bout that at least.
mixed feelings.

juz get me accecpted into the school in australia.
PLEASE!

o level results gonna be out this friday.
which is like TMR?!!!
WAD THE FUCK?!

neways, i went to loads of places today.
first to orchard, cineleisure.
met becca, chelle and gonaidi there.
then off to lucky plaza.
then took mrt down to bugis.
walked around bugis.
coz chelle needed to go there to collect something.
then off to bras basah.
becca and her valentine's.
BLAH!
then off to take a bus from beach road.
to golden mile something something to do some embroidery for becca's darling's cloth!
then we all ( me, becca, lampy and chelle) shared a cab.
and the other 2 guys, (gonaidi and wenshiun) shared a cab.
i didn't know that seeing another 2 boys in another cab on the road and wearing seat belts is sooooo hilarious.
LOL.
we gurls were laughing our ass off.
even the taxi driver was kinda amused as well.
LOL.
went to toa payoh.
ate.
and EGAN came.
wheeee...
=)
played pool.
it was fun.
i got homeat 11 something.
and i didn't get "screamo" from my grandma.
wheeee...
she was being really nice.
=)
and i'm happy.

first day of work!

erm... work.
it was alright.
not that bad.
blisters on my lil toes.
OUCH!
i'll deal with it tho.
=)

legs kinda tired.
but i'll survive.
goofed up a lil here and there during work.
but... i'd say that i did quite a fair job being a first-timer.
wheeeee... =)

well, this entry is for the 6th.
i had a good day.

sorry lampy for the last minute phone call.
and thanx for coming with me to shop for my working shoes.
and yes, u heard that... WORKING SHOES!
i'm gonna start working.
like on tuesday.
wait, that's today but later.
i hope everything will be alright.
kinda nervous tho.
juz jitters actually.

and i had a really good time with EGAN!
and dude, i know u're reading this.
LOL.
we should go out again.
WHEEEEEEEEE...
and even my frens said that u're a nice guy.
see... they like u too.
=)
and sorry for the loads of random-ness today.
and the random-ness bout BRYAN!
he's GOOD-LOOKIN
=)
i was sooooo hyper after that.
pardon me.
but u'll get more random-ness from me.
don't worry.
LOL.
<3

but well, i hope work is gonna make things better.
i get scolded for staying home, coz my grandma says i'm not doing anything at home.
and i get scolded for going out.
she says that i'm always out.
so i got scolded for being home and being out.
i'm confused.
and i feel that everything is wrong.
it kinda SUCK! like BIG TIME!
so initially she was against me working.
but in the end, she told me to get consent from my MOM.
so i called back to jakarta juz to ask my mom if i could work.
and my mom said ok.
wad trouble right?!

well, the weird thing is she thought if i'd go to work and come home late, i'll be making frens with those "bad company".
is funny coz why didn't she think that since i'm working, i'll be tired and i have no time to play after that?!!!!
GOSH! WEIRD THINKING!
but grandma is after all GRANDMA!

ROCK FOR GOOD.

so basically, i had a really great time on saturday.
missed the chingay thingy.
but whatever...
i was at RGS rockin my night away.
AMAZING!
ROCK FOR GOOD!
tix were like 10 bucks. but i think it's worth much more than that.
i made new frens.
really nice ppl.
got to talk to the band members and stuff.

i heard that the main organiser for the event was a 16 years old girl.
sabrina.
well, she did a really good job.

LEVAN of RONIN said that chingay is for gay chinese.
LOL.

i saw GERARD in the crowd.
i didn't talk to him tho.
i was at the other end of the stage.
SORRY DUDE!
=)

well, i had loads of fun that night.
after rockin and stuff, the bunch of us walked over to lido.
ate at mcd's and talk bout stuff.
wiz, kenneth, egan, pam, jess and i.

pam was commenting on wiz's hair.
LOL.

wiz, it was good right?
but i can't believe u actually fell asleep at a rock concert.
BLAH!

kenneth, next time i tell u more when there's concerts / gig OK?!
u had fun right?
WHEEEEEEEEEE...
and i can't believe u almost slept also.
and sorry u were hungry and needed ciggies so badly.
=)
and kenneth, the guy was good-looking.
LOL.

kinda bummed BESTIE AND LAMPY missed out.
=(
next time we crash another concert / gig together okies?!

i'm kinda tired to blog now.
shall blog bout everything later.
but one thing to let everyone know,
I HAD A GREAT DAY!

lalalalala.
wheeeeeeee...
=)

i feel that i have to blog bout this.
saying goodbyes and separation.
sighs.
i don't really like that.
seriously, i don't.

i went to the airport.
i sent my parents off today.
i sent my frens off today.
the departure hall is a sad place.
the arrival hall is a much happier place.
that's wad i think.

i feel like i'm losing everything.
i'm losing my purpose of staying here. in singapore.
i feel like i'm losing way more stuff.
but i dunno wad.
i've not come to realize all yet.

I ESPECIALLY HATE LOSING FRIENDS.

maybe is really time for me to say goodbye.

crying doesn't help with anything.
i'm like shedding tears of nothing.
sighs.

BOYS & DOTA.

ian.

reuben.

gerard.

joshua.

BOYS & TOYS.
LOL.
actually is BOYS & DOTA.
i find it quite interesting to watch boys play dota actually.
LOL.
the characters they choose, the way they fight, allies and enemies, the vulgarities they scold, the expression when their head get pawned and etc etc etc.


ian can tie his hair.
look at his teeny weeny lil tail.
LOL.

all about my hair straightener.

my ear is bleeding.
ok, it sounds weird but it is.
coz my itchy hand juz couldn't stop picking on the scab.
BLAH!
i have to stop. I HAVE TO!

in case u're wondering wad happen, my hair straightener did all that burning.
i think my hair straightener is starting not to like me.
it has started burning my hands too.
that's bad.
even my best fren suggested that i shouldn't use it anymore.

who knows, maybe i shall let it cool down and find back some love from it.
wait, that sounds kinda weird too.
but watever.
please love me, hair straightener, i need u.
haha =)
<3

food, food and more food.

first PEPPER LUNCH.
then COFFEE CLUB'S CHOCOLATE FONDUE WITH FRUITS.
and SEAFOOD CENTRE?!!!
ARGH!

i almost burst!
and growing fatter.
blah.

EMO SHIT!

I FEEL FOOLISH AND USELESS.
I'M BEGINNING TO LOSE MY PURPOSE OF STAYING.
IF NOT FOR SOME PEOPLE THAT I REALLY CHERISH AND TREASURE, I'D BE GONE BY NOW!

I LOVE U GUYS!!!
U KNOW I DO.
<\3